When I’m hankering for that Quarter Pounder, or the crispy chicken sandwich, or maybe even a Whopper, all of my desire to indulge in one of those scrumptious menu items is quickly smashed as soon as I walk into the restaurant. Entering a McDonalds makes me feel like the worst part of America: the gluttonous, indulgent, unimaginative, unhealthy, and downright gross part. No matter how cute my clothes are, how well my hair is done, or the sass in my step, my self-stock plummets the moment I walk through those doors.
But boy, do I love me some fast food! Oh yes, it appeals to the unclassy side of me, the impatient side of me, the this-is-gonna-make-me-feel-so-much-better (but only for a short while) side of me. The solution to my lifelong dilemma?
What an excellent way to get your 20 piece chicken McNuggets and have only one person but you know the truth! It appeals to the sneaky side of me that doesn’t want anyone knowing the naughty things I do.
I’m an honest person, mind you. I don’t steal, I don’t cheat, and I save the lying only to little white lies to save people’s feelings. But when I’m chowing down on my #5 extra value meal, I’d rather no one be the wiser, except for the lovely man or woman at that friendly drive-up window to the left of my seat.
Call me a coward, call me shady… but don’t call me late for a run to the McDonald’s drive-thru!